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Selected Reading
General books about psychological issues and therapy
Relationship Therapy: A Therapist’s Tale, by Rosie-March-Smith.
Probably more relevant for individuals than couples, despite the title. This book gives a good sense of how the unconscious mind affects our whole lives, and how therapy can help to free us from its unhelpful effects.
The Examined Life: How We lose and Find Ourselves, by Stephen Grosz.
A book about different therapeutic experiences from the point of view of the therapist. It gives a good idea of the sort of problems people bring and a realistic sense of how the work goes.
Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program To End Negative Behaviour And Feel Great Again, by Jeffrey E. Young and Janet Klosko.
An excellent book despite the garish cover. It outlines a number of “lifetraps” (also known as “cognitive schemas”) which, at one end of the spectrum, are merely personality quirks, and at the heavyweight end manifest as personality disorders.
A Straightforward Guide to Understanding Mental Illness (2nd edition), by Marianne Richards.
A lot of information in rather staccato style. Very good in dealing with the sharp end of mental illness, like the Mental Health Act and psychiatric hospitals.
Doctoring the Mind: Why psychiatric treatments fail, by Richard P. Bentall.
A controversial choice. This wouldn’t be a first port of call in a crisis, or if you are having trouble concentrating, but it is a very interesting discussion which argues that drugs and other medical interventions have been widely unsuccessful in the psychiatric arena.
Wild Mind: a Field Guide to the Human Psyche, by Bill Plotkin.
An introduction to one strand of ecotherapy, with lots of self-help suggestions.
Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor E. Frankl.
An account of one man recognising the survival value of meaning in a Nazi concentration camp, and applying his philosophy to his own brand of existential therapy.
Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature, edited by Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams.
A wonderful pot-pourri of psychological articles from some great writers. Some are very general and accessible, others are more meaty or more specialist.
Families: and how to survive them, by Robin Skinner and John Cleese.
An absolute classic by a proper therapist and a real communicator. It deals with a lot of life issues, including relationship choices and developmental stages, from a psychodynamic point of view.
There is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate, A Compassionate Process for Learning to Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are, by Cheri Huber.
A delightful book which puts forward an idea you will not believe, but is absolutely true. The principle here is at the heart of humanistic and transpersonal psychotherapy.
Books about specific problems and conditions
Depression, by NetDoctor.co.uk.
An excellent short book that is easy to read and explains a lot of jargon very clearly. It contains a great deal of useful information and also has a section on anxiety and panic. Originally published by Hodder and Stoughton in 2002, this is out of print but still easy to get.
Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Dread of Death, by Irvin Yalom.
A summary of death anxiety – and its philosophical remedies – by a popular US writer on existential psychotherapy. Secular in outlook, a touch smug in tone from time to time, but always warm and compassionate. Some useful thoughts about the process of therapy.
Living with Fear (2nd edition), by Isaac M. Marks.
Very comprehensive and well presented, dealing not only with phobias and generalized anxiety, but also obsessive-compulsive behaviour and grief. Includes some very useful self-help suggestions.
Passing for Normal: Tourette's, OCD and Growing Up Crazy, by Amy Wilensky.
A well-crafted account by a young woman suffering from OCD and Tourette’s. Particularly impressive are the story of the relationship with her father, who also has OCD and gives her a tough time growing up, and the way she has learned to live with and manage symptoms that won’t ever quite go away.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: New Help for the Family, by Herbert L. Gravitz.
Largely, but not entirely, for families and “significant others”, this is thorough and readable in a slightly breathless, Californian style that might have benefitted from tighter editing. Out of print (Healing Visions Press, Santa Barbara CA., 1998), but still easy to obtain.
Healing the hurt within: understand self-injury and self-harm, and heal the emotional wounds (3rd edition), by Jan Sutton.
The book to read if you, or anyone you love, self-harms. Wonderful. Apart from anything else, this book shows that self-harm is a really complex issues, and simplistic approaches can do more harm than good.
Power Games: Confronting Hurtful Behaviour and Transforming Our Own, by Kay Douglas and Kim McGregor.
A well-written and thorough book aimed at women, but likely to be of use to anyone unhappy about anger.
Assertion Training: How to be who you really are, by Shân Rees and Roderderick S. Graham.
A useful overview of assertiveness from a very cognitive and behavioural angle. Out of print (Sage, London, 1991) but still obtainable.
Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within, by Byron Brown.
A too-strong inner critic often lies at the root of problems like depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. This book offers an entertaining and insightful way to spotting your inner critic and start addressing it.
Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy & Build True Self Esteem, by Joseph Burgo.
A good introduction to multiple sources of shame, not just the ones we might expect. Lots of exercises to do.
Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame: A Relational/Neurobiological Approach, by Patricia de Young.
This is really for the practitioner, but it is so excellent and readable, it has plenty for the curious reader too.
The Year of Magical thinking, by Joan Didion.
Although some find it a little too cool, many resonate with this account of losing a much-loved husband, and it is a welcome addition to the canon of bereavement literature.
The Gift of Fear: Survival signals that protect us from violence, by Gavin de Becker.
A book to read if you are being stalked, or are worried about receiving unwanted attentions.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, by Oliver Burkeman.
A really excellent book, explaining why conventional time management strategies don’t work very well, exploring the roots of procrastination, and setting out some very useful strategies for using time wisely.
Books introducing transpersonal themes, myths and stories
Masculine and Feminine: The Natural Flow of Opposites in the Psyche, by Gareth S. Hill.
For those with an interest in the transpersonal, this is a wonderful examination of the interplay between masculine and feminine forces at different stages of life.
Gods in Everyman and Goddesses in Everywoman, by Jean Shinoda Bolen.
Two books which show how the archetypal human patterns portrayed in Greek mythology play out in ordinary mortals today. Great fun.
The Tao of Psychology: Synchronicity and the Self, by Jean Shinoda Bolen.
Largely about synchronicity, or meaningful coincidence, and the idea that all things are ultimately connected.
The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth, by M. Scott Peck.
Originally from 1978, this book became a cult classic and spawned several sequels. It is still a good read.
Sacred Celebrations: A Sourcebook, by Glennie Kindred.
There are more New Age books out there than you can shake a stick at, but if you would like to feel more in tune with the natural (and possibly ancient) rhythms of the year, this would be a lovely place to start.
The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, by Bruno Bettelheim.
Strictly speaking this is a book about fairy tales from a psychodynamic point of view, but it will leave you in no doubt how important they are, and how they speak to something universal in the human heart.
The Soul's Code, by James Hillman.
An easy and entertaining read from an eminent Jungian writer. He argues that every life is formed by a particular image or essence that calls it to a unique destiny.
Books about relationships and couples work
Pilgrimage of the Heart: The Path of Romantic Love, by John R. Haule.
An excellent examination of the stages of romantic love, drawing on stories and myths.
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion, by Marshall B. Rosenberg.
Strictly speaking this is not just for couples, but couples get immediate benefit. How to rephrase your needs and your complaints so that the other person won’t get offended and might actually want to do something about them.
Books about general psychology
Stumbling on Happiness, by Daniel Gilbert.
A book about decision-making and what makes us happy. The style is quite matey and humorous, despite excellent academic credentials.
Thinking, Fast and Slow, by Daniel Kahneman.
Another book about behavioural psychology and how we make decisions. Less humorous and tougher to read than “Stumbling on Happiness” but well worth it.
The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, by Malcolm Gladwell.
Malcolm Gladwell is largely interested in why we make the decisions we do, and why some people are successful and others aren’t. “The Tipping Point” was the book that made his name, but if you enjoy this, you’ll also enjoy “Blink” and “Outliers”.
The Memory Illusion: Remembering, Forgetting, and the Science of False Memory, by Julia Shaw.
An easy but very thought-provoking read about how memories are made, stored, formed, falsified and distorted. Julia Shaw is an academic who also works with the police and the legal system.
50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology: Shattering Widespread Myths about Human Behavior, by Scott Lilienfeld et al.
A terrific read that challenges everyone, including therapists, to rethink their acceptance of commonly-held views.
Books to feed the soul
The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart, edited by Robert Bly, James Hillman and Michael Meade.
Poems and prose chosen by men and aimed primarily at men, though of universal human interest.
Soul Food: Stories to Nourish the Spirit and the Heart, edited by Jack Kornfield and Christina Feldman.
A meaty collection of readings spanning several of the world’s spiritual traditions. Truly inspirational.
Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, compiled by Paul Reps.
My desert island book. All wisdom is here.
The Mythic Journey: The Meaning of Myth as a Guide to Life, by Liz Greene and Juliet Sharman-Burke.
Stories from Greece and world mythologies retold, with commentaries, to reflect on the different stages and trials of life.
Mythical Lovers and Divine Desires: The World’s Great Love Legends, by Sarah Bartlett.
Love stories and myths from all over the world.
On the Way to the Wedding: Transforming the Love Relationship, by Linda Schierse Leonard.
Stories and commentary by a Jungian analyst that illustrate the human quest for a committed relationship.
In addition to the books I have suggested above, check out www.littherapy.com for a plethora of titles relevant to people with emotional issues.